Keep reminding ya'self
by Whywrite
Summary: Sometimes Francis has to remind himself that Jack Kelly isn't a real person (references of child abuse and {kinda} multiple personality disorder but not really)


**Hey, look who is writing a fanfiction for the first time since like 2012, fun.**

**Anyway, I ****_don't_**** own Newsies.**

**Also warnings for hints at multiple personality disorder (kinda) and references of abuse.**

**This is before/during the whole strike thing. Anytime before the boys knew about Jack's past really works for this stories timeline.**

_Sometimes Francis forgets that Jack isn't a real person. It's just he never really gets to be Francis and Jack's life is a lot better than Francis's has ever been. So he rather pretend to be Jack._

_Jack didn't really have to struggle with the memories as much as Francis did. Because late at night when he goes up to the roof and let's himself be Francis because all the boys are asleep, all he can think about is the hands on his neck. And after a few hours of being Francis (real late at night) the tiredness catches up to him and he can actually feel the hands around his neck. Once that starts he changes back over to Jack and crawls back into the room and tries to have one night of sleep without nightmares._

_That never really happens._

_Jack did have to struggle though. Jack Kelly had a hard time getting food. Especially since Francis goes around late at night giving boys money that he earned that day so that one day they will be able to have a better life than he has ever had. Jack pretends that he doesn't know about it. The boys pretend that they don't know that he is the one putting the money into their savings. _

_Jack also really struggled with a lot of guilt. The boys often go hungry. Or they don't have enough clothes to keep warm in the harsh New York winters. Or they can't afford to pay the housing fee for a night. Sometimes boys even go out selling papes with diseases that would have people, that could afford it, in the hospital for days. And as the leader of these boys Jack tries to pay what they can't afford but often he can't, so he has to deal with that awful guilty feeling in the bottom of his stomach. _

_Francis ends up selling his jacket and shoes to get one of his boys, Sprite who everyone was pretty sure had Bronchus, food and some money because he was carrying the banner, because he was so hungry and he couldn't pay for food if he didn't work. Jack tells him not to worry about it because in Santa Fe he "don't need no coat" and he will be able to afford new shoes in a week or two._

_Jack is never able to afford new shoes. He goes on for about three years without shoes until he finds a pair on his bed. He yells at Racetrack because he knows that Racetrack has dreams and he does not him spending money on Jack i__nstead of himself. Racetrack pretends he has no idea what he is talking about._

_Francis tries to pay back Racetrack a few nights after finding the shoes because Jack might take free things but if Francis's father taught him anything in his years of hurting Francis it is that nothing ever comes for free and Francis rather give Racetrack money than owe him a favor. But Racetrack insists that he doesn't want money or a favor, because that is what friends are for. Francis makes sure that he puts extra money under Racetrack's pillow every night during his rounds. Racetrack puts the extra money back under Jack's pillow, keeping the regular amount Francis would usually leave._

_Jack was beginning to fall into the routine of being Jack (or when Francis is caught in a sticky situation because Francis wouldn't eve punch the Delanceys if his life depended on it) during the day and Francis at night (or when he needed to think about something because Jack doesn't think he just starts to soak people._

_And then the headline hit_ "**JERRY SULLIVAN ANNOUNCED NOT GUILTY ON CHARGES OF CHILD ABUSE AND MURDER"**

_after that Jack no longer existed._

_Francis stopped selling papes because he was no good at it. Jack was the one doing that._

___After that Francis felt the hands all over his body instead of his neck, and a lot more often than just at night. _

___Kid Blink took over for Jack. He didn't want to though but all Francis did was sit in his bed staring at the ceiling. And they needed a leader. _

___At first the boys tried to take care of their (old) leader. But it didn't really work. After three weeks Francis couldn't afford staying at the newsboys home and even though Koppelman said he could stay for free, said that he knew that he was going through something and if he told him he could stay, he would help him work through it. _

___Francis left that night._

___About six months after the first headline came out (five months living on the streets) another came out_ **"JERRY SULLIVAN FOUND GUILTY OF BEATING THREE PROSTITUTES TO DEATH." **_Racetrack smirked as he sold him the pape Francis that day. "couldn't stay away from me, huh?" Francis walked away without a response. _

_After reading that story Francis realized that he would never feels those hands again and he smiled as he gathered the small amount of things he had and headed back to the home, including the story about his father in the bag he had on his back. _

_Koppelman smiled as he signed Jack in and accepted the dime (about 3 weeks pay), "Welcome back, boy." "Nice ta see ya again, old man." Jack responded with a smirk walking up the stairs._

_He smiled when he saw that there was new boys but his bed seemed to have stayed empty for the five months he was gone for._

_He pasted the story about his father on the wall next to his bunk as a reminder, he is never coming back again._

_Francis smirked the next morning when he knew he no longer had to be Jack. Just plain old Franis. A better way to phrase that, is he can now be himself._

_Unless dealing with scabbahs then Jack will come out to beat those motherfuckers in a heartbeat._


End file.
